i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
two words...techno handjob
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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