I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
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I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
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Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize