i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize