im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize