Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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