Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize