MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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