I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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