I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize