i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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