I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize