He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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