Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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