But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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