distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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