I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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