quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize