I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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