Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize