The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize