You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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