i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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