Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize