your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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