She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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