We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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