I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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