bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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