it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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