So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
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I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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