I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize