he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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