i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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