I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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