He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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