Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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