I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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