Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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