i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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