I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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