I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize