Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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