I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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