Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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