Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
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If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The power of my boobs compel you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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