Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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