this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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