WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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