I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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