4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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